Welcome
to the The Lie Detection Cheat Sheet.
I realize this can be a touchy or even controversial
topic.
Listen, I’m a firm believer in the
power of positive thinking, focusing on the good things in life and seeing the glass half full rather than half empty.
That’s why most of
the training programs that I create are focused around attaining a positive result; whether it be getting a raise, landing the perfect
job or simply using your communication skills to get better results in your business or personal life.
Yet detecting lies from other people doesn’t really feel like such a “positive”
thing to be doing or talking about.
But here’s the deal.
My life’s work has been centered around human communication
and how
it can be used to improve one’s life.
And human communication involves
many facets.
Unfortunately one of those facets
is deception and lying. And it’s a big one at that.
The truth is if
you really want to master communication then this is an area that not only has to be addressed but you need to be
trained in how
to maneuver in situations when someone is lying to you.
Now
you may think that what I’m saying is true but might not be worth focusing on simply because this doesn’t
happen too often.
Well statistically speaking the average person is lied to over 200 times a day.
So you better believe it’s worth focusing on.
So
what I want to share with you here is a cheat sheet that includes some basic key indicators that someone is lying to
you.
KEY INDICATORS
1. Answers that seem off
Let's say
your son is going out one night and he tells you he's sleeping over his friend's house. You know there's
a party going on, that he's never slept over this friend's house before and that the kid isn't even a
good friend. Your son's answer seems a little off.
2. Brain scramble
Good liars distort reality by doing something called gaslighting. This term comes from a 1944 movie
called Gaslight where an
abusive husband
would flicker the gas light on and off to appear as a ghost—in order to steal jewels from his wife. A gaslighter
can so thoroughly lie that you begin to question your own beliefs.
Gaslighters use very strategic and direct statements.
They'll tell you
you're crazy or you're paranoid. They'll say things like, "I can't believe you would even suspect
me of doing something like this. I can't believe that thought would even cross your mind. You must be the crazy one."
Gaslighters
scramble your thought process to an extent that you begin questioning your own sanity. This is a crucial key indicator of
deception—when
someone is going out of their way to scramble your brain by using the gaslighting technique to make you question everything you're
starting to believe is true.
3. Intuition
Another one is good, old-fashioned intuition. Fear is
a basic instinct,
and oftentimes we begin to suspect things even when we don't have any evidence, proof or reason to experience that
suspicion or
feel that fear. There is a scientific explanation for that. Your brain is subconsciously registering that suspicion or fear
of danger before it has reached your conscious mind. That's why you begin to have feelings you can't logically explain.
The
psychological term for this is thin slices. The brain detects details faster than your conscious awareness can
pick them up. Researchers
have found that in some cases, it's as fast as 1/25 of one second. Within that 1/25 of one second is a
thin slice where your subconscious mind picks up on something but your conscious mind hasn't registered what that
is. You can't logically justify the reason why you feel it.
4. Succumbing to charisma
Effective liars are also very good manipulators, and that means they can be very charismatic—but
that charisma is usually being practiced with bad intentions. They're doing it because they plan on manipulating you
at some point.
5. Manipulation
Manipulation is
very closely tied to deception and it's very important that we talk about it.
There
are [five] stages a master manipulator takes when planning to manipulate someone. Now, sometimes they're aware of
these stages, and
sometimes it comes so naturally to them that they navigate through these stages without even consciously realizing it.
a. Identify a victim
A master manipulator identifies someone they believe is relatively easy to deceive,
because the person is easier to manipulate. This person probably lacks confidence and seems vulnerable or weak.
b. Gather intelligence
The manipulator
learns as much as they possibly can about the victim. What do they like? What are their needs? Their fears? They're going to utilize
that information to their advantage.
c. Give the victim what they want
After the manipulator has gathered intelligence about their victim (knows what they like,
what they don't like, their needs and their fears) the manipulator will now feed the victim what they want and need. They
do this to make themselves appear positively in the eyes of the victim.
d.
Isolation
The manipulator begins to move the victim away from other people. They might take the victim
on a trip. They might use terms like, "We're in this together," or "I've never felt this with anyone else.
I seem
to click with you better than with anyone else. You and I are on the same level." The manipulator physically and mentally
begins to isolate
the victim.
e. Blackmail
This is the last
stage. Typically they share a secret with the victim that, if anyone knew, could hurt both of them. Then they begin to blackmail the
victim by demanding things. It could be money or resources or sex. They extort the victim by threatening to disclose that
secret.
That's how a master manipulator navigates their way into a position of manipulation.
Congratulations!
You now know what key indicators to look for when detecting deception.
The next step is to ensure that these indicators are correct. Remember, an indicator is not valid, hard proof. It
is simply an indication that someone
is lying to you.
“Would You Like To Learn How You Can Detect Deception Based On The Behavior
Of Your Subject?”
Then
you need the Lie Detection Blueprint.
Click here to learn more.
Talk
soon,
Paul Mascetta
President & Founder of The Influential Mind
